The man's couvade during pregnancy

It sometimes happens that the future dad experiences the pregnancy of his companion in a very particular way. He can, for example, gain weight, feel nauseous… In this case, doctors speak of the “couvade” syndrome. We take stock of this surprising phenomenon.

If the word "couvade" is not actually a medical term, and some specialists do not recognize its existence, the manifestations linked to this mysterious phenomenon would affect 10 to 30% of future dads in France, according to studies. (Source 1). How to recognize a paternal couvade, what are the causes and how to explain it?

What is the origin of the paternal couvade?

The term "couvade" designates, according to Roberte Laporal in his work "La couvade ou le père upset" (Source 2), "a custom, first observed in the medieval Basque Country, where a future father, shortly before childbirth of his wife, goes to bed, imitates pregnancy and complains of the pains of childbirth, while he is granted the treatment of women in labour". The Larousse or even the Littré give noticeably similar definitions. term "was first described by C. de Rochefort, a French observer of the indigenous Caribbean populations of the West Indies, with whom he observed a set of pre- and post-birth rites", reports Roberte Laporal.

Beyond the laughter and smiles that this situation can arouse, we are indeed referring to an existing rite in certain civilizations. Among the American Indians, the man mimicked pregnancy and childbirth by performing very precise gestures and pain. In French Guyana, certain traditions wanted the man to be forced to stay in bed, completely isolated for six weeks after giving birth. Then the family members made a few cuts on her skin and rubbed chili peppers on her. So many ways to share the experience and suffering of pregnant women.

Couvade or nervous pregnancy in men: definition and causes

Today, in Western countries, the couvade syndrome is associated with psychological disorders that manifest psychosomatically throughout the duration of pregnancy. This is nothing alarming: the organism of the future dad simply reacts to the announcement of the baby's arrival. A hormonal change then takes place and signs of pregnancy appear.

"According to the study carried out by Hélène Le Cornu, midwife, the psychosomatic phenomena of the couvade of the father belong to the domain of "normality" and are considered as dysfunctions and not as psychiatric manifestations, but can nevertheless be complicate and lead to psychiatric pathologies of the neurotic or psychotic type", writes Manon Calappi in her article "The experience of pregnancy by fathers: analysis of the evolution of the feeling of paternity" (Source 1).

Symptoms: How do you know if a man is having a couvade?

You know very well these little ailments and manifestations of pregnancy, which stop on the day of the happy event, when baby shows up… They pursue certain women throughout the nine months. A dad can also experience them, in some cases. Several manifestations make it possible to recognize a couvade in humans:

Studies carried out on couvade show that the symptoms appear more in primipera (of which it is the first child).

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Why do men get fat during pregnancy?

It is precisely because of this secretion of oxytocin, the hormone normally produced by the pituitary gland in pregnant women, that some future fathers gain weight. However, a large British study published in 2017 takes the opposite view of this theory, and shows that the arrival of a child would not lead to weight gain in men. It is rather after childbirth that men gain weight, constantly during the first three years of the child, in particular because of the growing number of men who are more and more involved in their role of father, stay home, take care of baby...

Making a couvade: a meaning for the dad vis-à-vis the pregnant woman

The couvade syndrome actually has a very deep meaning. It allows the father to exteriorize his feelings.

The expression of anxiety

For some future dads, fatherhood is an individual, personal and unique development. It's a change of identity, a new filiation. Torn between the joy of being a father and the fear of this responsibility, he is anxious. Difficult for a man to verbalize, to express his doubts, so he takes refuge in the couvade. His body exteriorizes his deepest feelings.

The lack of attention

During a pregnancy, the eyes are generally riveted towards the partner and her belly. The couvade is, in a way, a means of attracting attention. The future dad needs to be upgraded, to find his place in this maternity. Somehow, he too would like to know this feeling of carrying a child without it being possible. He therefore shows his experience through mimicry.

A development of the paternal role

The couvade can also express a certain pride in becoming a father. He too is living the story of this pregnancy. And to better welcome the baby and this paternity, he shows his involvement in this pregnancy by showing the little ailments of the pregnant woman.

When does the couvade syndrome stop and how to avoid it?

The signs of couvade "can appear throughout the pregnancy of their companion with generally peaks in the first and/or last trimester", indicates Roberte Laporal (Source 1). They usually disappear after childbirth, when baby is born.

It is difficult to anticipate couvade syndrome in a man. Even if this phenomenon is not alarming, and it can simply translate a great empathy or a great involvement with his companion, or it can also be the expression of a malaise, the need for to be more involved in the pregnancy....

In this case, nothing better than to let him get involved as much as possible, and as long as it suits you! If this is not already the case, invite him to medical appointments, ultrasounds, childbirth preparation classes, to prepare the baby's room, to find the mode of care... He is also possible to participate in a support group for future dads. Ask your maternity ward, because more and more are offering them.

Testimonials from dads: I experienced a couvade

Discover the testimonials of several men who told us about their couvade experience.

Stéphane, father of Léa (2 years) and Marion (6 months)

"For the first pregnancy with my wife, it was an accident. We weren't planning to have a child right away, so I felt trapped. That certainly explains why I felt everything. I was extremely tired throughout the pregnancy and gained no less than six kilos in all! For our second child, this time I was ready, and yet, the last three months, I have been plagued by nausea and chronic diarrhea" .

Daniel, father of Leo (3 months)

"At the time of the announcement of the pregnancy, I started to suffer from back pain accompanied by digestive disorders. I was practically bedridden for two weeks. During this period, I declared to my girlfriend that I was frustrated not knowing the feelings of carrying a child. From the moment I mentioned it, the symptoms subsided".

Alain, father of Manon (6 months)

"So for me, pregnancy was nonsense. I managed to eat raspberries, bananas, guacamole with crisps, before making myself a slice of spread… I simply had incomprehensible and impossible to curb cravings!".

Source 1: "The experience of pregnancy by fathers: analysis of the evolution of the feeling of paternity", Manon Calappi (Source 1).

Source 2: "The couvade or the upset father", Roberte Laporal, 2015 (on Cairn.info).